The Most Valuable Pitcher Signed Out of Japan

Well, that's Hideo Nomo, at 4.9 WAR. A fine season by any measure. But I bet you can't guess who's the second-most valuable pitcher signed as a free agent out of Japan. It's not Ishii. it's not Sasaki. Dice-K? Get out of here. Hiroki Kuroda? Close, but no cigar.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, your WAR runner-up is...Colby Lewis at 4.4 WAR.

A Winner is You!

When I heard that Lewis--a onetime top prospect for the Rangers (he was the 38th pick in 1999)--was returning to the States after a stint in Japan, my interest was initially piqued for one reason only - I actually owned Lewis on my first fantasy baseball team ever, in 2004. He was decidedly mediocre, got injured, and I dropped him, and that was that. So I took his return as his opportunity to repay my initial faith in me, because he OWES me. Yeah, I kid, I kid.

But outside of that, he was intriguing because he utterly dominated Japanese hitters, leading the Central League in strikeouts both seasons he was there. He added a pitch to his repertoire (by some accounts a cutter, but it looks like a slider to me), got aggressive, and blew guys away like he'd never done before. So I went all-in on him this year, owning him in all of my leagues. It turned out to be one of the only good decisions I made all year.

Now granted, he got a teensy bit lucky this season. A flyball pitcher in Arlington usually yields light shows rivaling the 4th of July, but the strikeout rate is legit. His fastball is 3-4 MPH slower than he threw as a prospect, but he throws that new slider a whopping near-30% of the time. And boy, that pitch is filthy; worth 13.6 runs above average! By comparison, this year, Mariano Rivera's cutter was worth 16.7.

I think it's interesting how poorly major league teams have done scouting Japanese starters, though it's not like I myself would have guessed that Hiroki Kuroda would turn out to be a better pitcher than Dice-K. Perhaps we should temper our expectations for Yu Darvish?

An Ode to GameFan

As a founding member of the Nintendo Generation growing up in the barren era before the Internet, we relied SOLELY on magazines to whet our appetites for upcoming games. It still, to this day, blows my mind that people nowadays can load up video and gameplay previews on their computers in the comfort of their own homes. This is a travesty. You kids don't know how good you've got it - when we were that age, we would masturbate furiously over a 1-inch screenshot of Mortal Kombat II. Now get off my lawn!

So my favorite magazine, bar none, was GameFan. Now don't get me wrong; this magazine was a piece of shit. They apparently had no copy editor on staff (actual line, errors intact: "...if you're looking for some arcade style fun, Chiki Chiki boys comes highly recommended.!!") and every page looked like a blind high school student's first time using Photoshop:

But the paper...oh the paper. While competitors essentially used colored newsprint for their rags, GameFan was thick and glossy and the colors just popped out at you. It smelled wonderful. Most importantly, GF was special because it had a special focus on import games. There was something so appealingly exotic about Japanese games, and the snobby tone of the magazine (most of the later issues were nothing but complaints about how the pure Japanese software got mangled by American localization teams) made you feel like you were part of the cognoscenti, sort of like the jackass who always has to remind you that he was listening to Coldplay while they were still called Starfish and oh my god they are such corporate sellouts blah blah blah.

I was reminded of GameFan because today I bought a copy of Lunar: Eternal Blue for Sega CD. I had opened up an issue of the magazine 16 (!) years ago with a review of the game and decided that this was one I really wanted to play, only at the time I didn't have any of the necessary hardware. Or the money to buy the hardware. Or the money to buy the game, for that matter. I thought it would be a cool idea today to close the loop, so to speak, and track down a scan of that particular magazine and read the review again:

"The reason I harped so long on the translation is because I was a huge fan of the Japanese original, and I'm a hyper-purist. Even so, I can't think of a better way to end the Sega CD's brief, uneventful foray into the gaming world than with Lunar: Eternal Blue."

Ah, GameFan. You were written straight from the Purist Snob Mad Libs book, but I still love you.

Best Quote of Week 5

Apparently Troy Aikman has taken one too many concussive hits to the head, because during the Green Bay - Washington game today, he unleashed this gem after Mason Crosby missed a 53 yard field goal:

"Really a good kick, other than the fact that it didn't go in."

I wish this guy was my dad. Life would have been so much easier growing up...

"Your application to Harvard was really a good one, other than the fact that you didn't get in."

"That swing was a really good one, other than the fact that you missed the ball completely."

Bonus: Best quote of Week 4, Lions Edition:

Announcer 1: Jason Hanson - He's been one of their best draft picks, ever
Announcer 2: Yeah, which is part of the problem.

Right or Wrong?

As the end of every baseball season draws near (as does the fantasy baseball season), I take a look back at all the decisions I made, and invariably, many of them are wrong. But there are also always a handful where the outcome was poor, but I was not wrong, per se. It's a distinction that many people don't grasp--at least it seems that way any time a football coach goes for 2 at the end of the game when down by 1, judging by the uproar.

But the thing is, it is not the outcome that makes a decision right or wrong, it's the reasoning. It's like standing on a 20 in blackjack and the dealer draws a 21. Yeah, you lost, but standing on 20 is absolutely the right decision given the information that you have. In the same way, if the expected value of going for two at the end of a game is higher than kicking a PAT, you should go for two, no matter what the monday morning quarterbacks will say.

So I don't feel bad not acquiring someone like David Price, whose numbers belie his true talent level (high, but not THAT high), or the similar Clay Buchholz. Their true talent levels (measured by xFIP) are closer to 4.00 than 2.00, and more often than not, that's how they'll perform. But the dealer drew a 21 on them. Bummer, but no sleep lost.

But I was clearly wrong on Jose Bautista. Wow. There's not a whole lot to say about that, but one interesting thing about him that most people don't know is that of his 48 home runs to date, he has pulled EVERY SINGLE ONE:



The plot is from the wonderful Hittracker. You'd think pitchers would just throw everything low and outside to him, but I guessed they missed 48 times. Or maybe hitting to all fields is overrated.

All I Want For Christmas is Fluuuuu....Shots

Sometimes, when I go to an Asian barber (and it's always only the Asian ones, for some reason), they'll shave my neck and sideburns with an old-fashioned straight razor, and I've always loved the "cshhh" sound it makes as it slices through my hair and arteries. So lately, I've devoted myself to the religion of wetshaving - using an old-school double edge safety razor, applying the cream with the badger hair brush, etc. As an added benefit, after an initially expensive outlay, the cost per shave goes down immensely compared to the ridiculously overpriced 12-blade cartridge style razors.

I bought the brush and the cream a while ago, but it wasn't until today that I received my NOS 1970's Gillette Super Speed razor handle in the mail. I decided that I probably shouldn't use the 40 year old blades included in the package, so I dropped by Walgreens to pick up a set of their crappy generic blades, and I was met by this sign (yes I know I'm inside the store; it's the same on both sides):



Now look, I'm not an ingrate. My parents have shafted me out of so many gifts through the years that I really do appreciate anything. Socks, underwear, whatever. But even I have to admit that this one would really be a reach for me. "Merry Christmas Billy! It's a gift card for your flu shots! Why are you crying, Billy?"

I used to think a CVS gift card was the silliest idea conceived by man (again, not because I'm ungrateful, but if someone needs contact lens solution, just buy them contact lens solution); now I'm not so sure.

Anyway, I got my Walgreens razor blades and clamped one into my Super Speed and went to work - not without some trepidation, I might add. And boy, was it fantastic. It took a lot longer and you have to do it with the utmost care, lest you slice your carotid artery, but it felt great and gave me one of the closest shaves I've ever had. And there's just something so artisanal about it, like the difference between driving stick and driving an automatic. Most people will tell you that the first DE shave is going to be a mess, but I have a built-in advantage: I have about three facial hairs.

They're not even all in the same place, but patchily distributed everywhere. Ironically, I have to be MORE vigilant about shaving than someone who has densely distributed facial hair, because I don't grow a sexy 5 o'clock shadow. Mine grows like I'm a burn victim, one patch on my cheek, one patch under my nose, a patch on my neck, etc...not real attractive. When I let it grow out I look like a Mexican high school boy just starting puberty.