Privatize the USPS Already!

Little known fact: among the illustrious legacies of King William 3.0 and Queen Mary 2.0 quietly lurks a more dubious distinction - they commissioned the spiritual progenitor of the United States Postal Service. If they had known how things would turn out they would undoubtedly have just awarded the contract to UPS.

I finally purchased a Super Famicom a couple of weeks ago, direct from Japan. Am I too old to play video games, you ask? Psh! Of course I'm too old.

Anyway, I came home the other day and saw the pink delivery attempt notice, which of course was attempted while I was at work. Seriously, why doesn't someone start a delivery business that delivers from 6:00 pm to 11:00 pm? I hate that pink slip.

But what's this? USPS now offers ONLINE redelivery scheduling! Awesome! I filled out the form to schedule delivery for today (since I am fortunate enough to be working from home), and got a confirmation notice. I was duly impressed by USPS for the first time since kindergarten. You already know how this is going to end.

The mailman arrives and my package is not delivered. I can schedule another pickup for the next time I'm home, Saturday, but that will have been five days since the original attempt, so if that request also flies off into the ether, the package will get sent back. TO FUCKING JAPAN. So assuming they didn't even bother to take it off the shelf at the post office, I rush there fifteen minutes before they close, and what do I see in front of me but this...

...A fucking douchebag couple waltzing in fifteen minutes before close with SIXTY FUCKING PACKAGES. Literally 62 or 63, no exaggeration. And of course they have to tape them up at the counter because they didn't bother to do that shit somewhere where there weren't 20 people waiting behind them.

I finally get to the counter and give them the slip, and the lady goes back and rummages around for a while. A long while. I start to panic. Could I have been wrong about the USPS? Perhaps there is a special mailman who just does redeliveries and he just hasn't reached my place yet.

She finally emerges from the back...with a box under her arm. Yeah, screw USPS.