MLB 10: The Show Impressions

As someone who has played the Show franchises for probably a thousand hours, I should be given a job just reviewing those games. The 2010 iteration has improved, but it's not perfect. Also, I should note that I didn't buy 2009; I skipped from 2008 to 2010.

The good:

-It's much harder to check your swing.

-The pitch selection is much more realistic; you can be pretty sure that you won't get an 0-2 pitch anywhere near the strike zone.

-Stealing bases is a lot more difficult and dependent on reaction time, versus simply loading a "steal" command and just letting your speed rating dictate your success (or lack).

-You get Road to the Show career points for more types of fielding plays.

-Graphics and animation are top-notch.

The bad:

-When you get on base in RTTS mode, it takes FOREVER for the batter to finish his AB. They foul off pitches ad nauseum until the count goes to 3-2, and then they strike out. I hate waiting for them to finish and I'd usually skip ahead by getting myself intentionally thrown out on the basepath, but this year they get angry at you and bench you.

-They took away that cool camera perspective shift when you hit a no-doubter home run.

-I don't know why they haven't given you the ability to import RTTS players from year to year.

-There is ALWAYS some kind of bug in the team rank splash screens; this year, the problem is that it doesn't calculate the ranks correctly. So you might see 52 HR, 1st in League, and the opposing team would be displayed as 57 HR, 16th in League.

-The game gives you stupid goals that you can't achieve, and then subtracts career points when you fail. It might tell you that they're putting on the hit-and-run and that you have to put the ball in play, but even if the pitcher throws a pitchout and you can't swing, they still count that as a "failure."

-It pisses me off that EVERY pitcher in the minor leagues has 5 pitches, all of which can be precisely thrown for strikes off the corners of the plate. How many pitchers in real life throw knuckleballs? If you're going by this game, at least 40% of them.

-Some of the stats are just wonky and unrealistic. Case in point:

148 pitches, really?

Why Glenn Beck is a Genius

Now, let me be clear...I don't think what he says is genius-level discourse, but what he does, wow. I wish I'd thought of it first.

In business, we always say that you should find a need and fill it. Well, there was a clear need -a need to give a voice to all the ignorant, illogical, slightly racist, overly histrionic tinfoil-clad conspiracy theorists in America, which my ass scientifically estimates to comprise 43% of the population. That's a LOT of people who just want to be able to nod their heads in agreement with someone on the moving picture box, something they can never do while watching eminently reasonable people like Rachel Maddow or Jon Stewart.

So Mr. Beck goes to work, rants his head off with ludicrous statements about how the president hates white people, that Al Gore's global warming campaign is like Hitler rounding up Jews, and Obama is trying to create an "Oligarhy" because he has deciphered the hidden code (Obama + Left + Internationalist + Graft + ACORN-Style Organizations + Revolutionaries + Hidden Agendas).

Commentators rip Beck and the blogosphere cackles as cable modems all across America's basements-where millions of unemployed college graduates wait to hear back on their internship applications-buzz with connections to digg.com to register the purest form of white-hot Internet outrage. And they're all right.

But you know what? At the end of the day, Glenn Beck comes home to this. As degrading as it might be lying and spewing nonsense all day, I've realized that it's no less degrading making Powerpoints for your bosses, and for a shitload less money. And my principles aren't paying my credit card bills. I know that's a cynical, money-centric valuation of life, but let's be real here, you're not going to be finding a lot of "love" or "fulfillment" out there if you're homeless. So what if you have to agree with crazy people all day? I already do that at my job. So what if half of America hates you? If you're a minority, gay, religious, atheist, Republican, or Democrat, half of America already hates you.

Okay, obviously, I don't really think Glenn Beck is a genius. And I don't, in fact, think money should be one's monolithic life goal. But it genuinely irritates me when people who do really believe that money is the most important thing in life still excoriate him. Judge everyone by their money or judge everyone by their principles. Don't judge Beck by his principles and me by how much money I have.

Games That Are Still Fun

Now that Sonic the Hedgehog is coming back to 2D--something I've longed for since suffering through the fishing levels in Sonic Adventure--I dusted off the Genesis and plugged in my old Sonic carts (I have 1-3, but not Sonic and Knuckles). Much to my surprise, they sucked - I used to love those games. But then again, I used to love Vanilla Ice too.

I think that as time goes by and game design progresses, the bar is subconsciously raised as your expectations change. When I was young, I didn't mind trial-and-error gameplay, because I had shitloads of free time on my hands, and frankly, everything back then was trial-and-error. That's how they turned a 15 minute game into a 2-hour one, by killing you unexpectedly every 2 minutes. Ever play Ghosts and Goblins for the NES? What a monolithic flaming turd of game design. Nowadays, I expect to be able to finish a game without dying, provided I am skilled enough. I'm not, but the point is, I don't feel I should be blindsided by a death that is unavoidable unless you already know it's coming.

But notwithstanding the ravages of time on games that were good only because the competition was worse, some games are actually still fun to play today. And I really mean fun, no nostalgia garbage picks like Pong or Spacewar.

Baseball Stars (NES) - Granted, this game is most fun when you play as the American Dreams and win games 10-0, and the repetitive music loop is going to make you want to kill yourself. But as one of the few NES sports games with a battery backup, once you get into franchise play, the game really gets addictive.

Mike Tyson's Punch Out (NES) - Pure twitch game that will show you how far your neuromuscular ability has deteriorated with age. I finally defeated Mike Tyson at the age of 23, during a Torts class. Needless to say, I did not fare as well against the Torts exam.

NBA Jam (SNES/GEN) - Sure, the rosters are old, but the gameplay is timeless. And you've gotta appreciate a game that is so over-the-top that even Mike Iuzzolino can dunk.

NHL '94 (GEN) - I guess this is really NHL '94 to NHL '97, because they were all pretty much identical. I've owned all the next-gen hockey games, and for some reason I still like these the best. It just feels so much more satisfying and monumental to score a goal in the older games. Maybe that's because all your players handle like a boat with one oar floating in a sea of melted cheese.

Tetris (GB) - Only the original Game Boy version counts for purists like me, before they added the infernal ability to indefinitely spin your piece in place. I never paid attention to my score, only the maximum number of lines I could form. My record? 187. My goal was to get to 200, but then I accidentally sold the game on eBay.