Thursday, July 28, 2011

Dear Congress:

WTF is the matter with you guys?



I don't know what's worse, the fact that our government is dysfunctional enough to play a hugely unnecessary game of chicken in which only the citizens have anything at stake, or that there are actually people who think the Democrats and Republicans should "compromise" or "meet in the middle" in a delightfully wrongheaded argumentum ad temperantiam.

So if one faction argues that the world is round and another argues that the world is flat, the best outcome for humanity is to agree that the world is dome-shaped? Preposterous. Somebody should remind the O-Dawg. Who cares if the Republicans won't let you pass anything? You've got the 14th Amendment behind you, brother! Well, sort of.

Also, it's time we instituted one-year term limits so those obsolete bastards can stop constantly bitching about being re-elected. I'm going with a no-incumbent ballot this time around; I don't care if you eat babies in your spare time to get your rocks off, if you weren't in Congress you have my vote.

Except Al Franken, he can stay.

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

My God, It Finally Happened!

It's not that. I'm 30, for crying out loud.

No, ever since I learned that the Astros had three pitching Rodriguezes on their team, I've been hoping to see them all deployed, one after the other, so that the box score would read nothing but "Rodriguez." Up to this point, this has been nothing more than a pipe dream, but BEHOLD:

rodriguez

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