MLB's Heavy Handed Media Policy

You can find just about anything on Youtube...Ryan Clark destroying Wes Welker, Fratellis music videos, the Numa Numa guy, Alex Ovechkin's amazing goal against the Coyotes, but you'll never see any MLB broadcast highlights because the league governs them with an iron fist.

I understand the need to enforce copyright infringement policies, but here's the stupid thing--I can't get that content anywhere else! I desperately want video of Ichiro's record-breaking 258th hit of the 2004 season. I used to be able to watch it on Youtube, but once MLB had it taken down, I had no recourse. You want to sell a DVD of it, fine. You want sell a video highlight online, fine. I'm willing to pay for it. But to take down the Youtube videos and not even offer it anywhere just engenders bad will. You'd think that now, when baseball is reeling under some of the worst publicity it's ever had to endure, that offering free highlights of some heartwarming moments would do them some good. But then again, baseball was never the forward-looking sport that...all the other sports are.

Fake Statistics

Granted, a lot of fantasy baseball wouldn't be quite as fun without the array of counting statistics that are a part of the game, but let's face it--there are a lot of bullshit statistics made up simply to make guys happy with their roles on their teams...namely:

- Saves: So you pitched one inning without giving up 3 runs...congratulations champ.

- Holds: Middle relievers need the love too, but this one's just dumb, especially if you can get a hold AND take a loss all at the same time.

- Wins: Yes, even the venerable win is a total bullshit statistic. How is it fair that a guy can pitch 9 innings and get a no-decision but the win goes to the guy who throws four pitches and gets one out?

- Pancake Blocks: Yes, switching gears to football, this one is asinine. You make 15 million dollars! So you don't have a blocking statistic, big deal.

Tale of the Tape

One guy I have in my head-to-head fantasy baseball league who is killing me is Chris Davis. We all joke that guys like Ryan Howard and Jack Cust are basically "Three True Outcomes," namely, during a typical AB, they'll walk, strikeout, or homer, and not much else. Well Chris Davis is just like that, only without the walks. Maybe we'll have to make up a new moniker for him - Two True Outcomes.

Davis has basically been the ugliest player in the league. In just 108 at-bats, he's struck out a mind-boggling is-that-a-typo 50 times. He's hit 9 home runs and just 13 singles. He has made contact with about 57% of the pitches he's swung at, which would be a shitty contact rate in the Little Leagues, much less the big leagues. You know how as a kid you'd throw a tennis ball up in the air to yourself and then wind your whole body up to hit the ball as far as you could and you fell down after swinging? That's this guy every time he comes up to the plate. What an asshole. My league penalizes strikeouts, and I also own Ryan Howard and Alfonso Soriano, so needless to say, I've punted that category out of necessity.

On the other hand, what can you say about Albert Pujols that hasn't been said already? The man was simply born to play baseball--he has more home runs (13) than he does strikeouts (11)! A player like him comes along once per generation. I consider him peerless in the sport today. There are guys who hit for more power, there are guys who hit for a better average, and there are guys who are better fielders, but nobody puts it all together quite like Pujols does.

What Happened to Overachieving Child Movies?

Sometimes I enjoy watching campy 80s films that I liked as a kid. For some reason, the 80s were filled with movies of middle school children who do ridiculously spectacular things, like going up in space (Space Camp), developing a military-grade laser weapon (Real Genius), nearly starting World War III (WarGames), flying an F-16 fighter jet (Iron Eagle), flying a UFO (Flight of the Navigator), or saving the galaxy in a space warcraft (The Last Starfighter). I kind of miss those movies, even though it really bugged me that in Space Camp, the kids' hair doesn't float around while they're in orbit.

And now, your moment of zen:

Small Sample Size Alert! Manager's Edition

Phillies pitcher Chan Ho Park is currently getting lit up like Christmas tree, and I wonder what the hell Charlie Manuel was thinking when he decided to give Park a job out of Spring Training. Now I've met Charlie Manuel, and he's a really nice guy, but the dude is not Bill James by a longshot. Unfortunately, a lot of managers (not just Charlie) also make the mistake of handing jobs to players who perform well for three or four weeks. Sure, Chan Ho Park was great for 1 month, but he's been terrible for 7. Seven SEASONS.

I think that Spring Training stats do matter, at least in two situations:

- Rookies with little major league experience: Small sample sizes apply here too, of course, but when you don't know what the player's true ceiling is, there's a possibility that that is it.

- Players rehabbing from injury: If a player rakes in ST, it may not necessarily tell you how good he is, but at least it can tell you if he's healthy or not.

Other guys with established track records and ceilings, like Park or Austin Kearns, should be viewed with a jaundiced eye when they massively outperform their career numbers. Players who suddenly learn to hit or pitch at age 35 are exceedingly rare.