And it's in my bathtub. For some reason, when I shower sometimes it feels like I've been in there for hours, and I come out and it's only been like 15 minutes. I am now convinced that there is some sort of strange time warp phenomenon occurring in there; perhaps every time I enter, the universe begins to spin around me at the speed of light, lengthening my subjective experience of time relative to the rest of the cosmos. Further investigation is warranted.
Speaking of showering, I've been catching a lot of those new "Get girl-approved hair" ads from Axe. Now first of all, a guy like, say, Johnny Depp didn't get where he is by worrying about what girls would think about his hair. That's what's so great about him. He does whatever he wants, looks like a grungy old hobo, and still is filthy rich and swimming around all day in the twat fog generated by all his lady admirers.
Second, how the fuck is that ad campaign okay? Could you imagine the backlash if we so much as suggested in advertisements that a woman should explicitly try to earn a man's approval?
Subway Veggie Subs: Get Guy-Approved Thighs
Neutrogena Facial Wash: Get a Guy-Approved Face
Vagisil: Get a Guy-Approved Vag
Instead, somehow women rule the world now and it's become the stupid, clueless men who have to fall all over themselves trying to win the approval of some herpes-infested sluts who got passed around the entire national alumni chapter of Psy U.
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