Why I Fear Facetime

Of course it's never an Asian GUY and a white chick

One of the big selling points of the new iPhone 4 is the video chat program Facetime. Of course, everyone will assume that Apple invented video chat, which they most assuredly did not, but just like that thing about people only using ten percent of their brains or shaving hair makes it grow back thicker, the belief is going to take root and flourish anyway. I took my Evo into the iPhone line and people were positively amazed that it was already doing video chat. Poorly, yes, and maybe that's where Apple distinguishes itself, but everyone believed that video chat was an Apple innovation. In fact, people were really impressed with Sprint and the Evo, until our line advanced three steps forward and my 3G cut out, followed closely by my battery dying. Baby steps, I guess.

But anyway, I am dreading the day that everyone has an i4, because then I will be expected to video chat. You can't be like, "Yeah, I've got an iPhone 4, and you've got an iPhone 4, so let's have a regular phone conversation." No no no. I mean, I suppose it's cool if you're stationed in Iraq and you want to see your kid or something, but for everyday interactions, I prefer audio-only. That way I can mute the handset and use the bathroom or quickly Google a synopsis of a book I'm pretending to have read. But in this brave new world, it's all over. Flipping through a magazine? Out. Picking your nose? Verboten. Rolling your eyes? Offensive.

It's interesting how quickly social norms have been forced to evolve due to cellular technology; when I got my first cell phone, I just could not bring myself to converse over the phone in public, but now it feels pretty normal. And it was a weird feeling to be constantly "on call." I think that's the paradigm that's changed the most - people are always expected to be connected nowadays. Today, if you can't get in touch with someone for more than an hour, you can pretty much assume they're dead or ignoring you (or if it's me, I probably left my phone in my car or my office and since nobody ever calls me anyway, I didn't notice it was missing).