Mom and Pop Stores, the Shitstain on America's Underwear

And this is not a discussion of "what is the impact of supercenters with respect to wages vs. increased buying power?" etc. etc., for which I have no idea. I simply mean that all my worst buying experiences have been at small mom-and-pop type stores. They have the highest prices, the most draconian policies regarding everything, and the surliest customer service. I have no idea where the pervasive apotheosis of small business owners comes from.

Case in point: when I was a freshman in high school, I was really into comics. Yeah, a 5'3" freshman into video games and comics...I HOPE YOU BROUGHT A CHANGE OF PANTIES, WOMEN OF AMERICA. So I walk the 2.5 miles (I walked a lot in those days because my mother was useless) to this place I've heard has a great selection of obscure comics, the adorably named Hole in the Wall Books.

And it is indeed a treasure trove of great titles I've read about but have never seen for sale anywhere else. I'm eagerly flipping through the bin and circular rack and pulling out the issues I want to buy and setting them aside. I want to emphasize that that's all I was doing, though I might have opened a book here and there to quickly glance at the interior. I wasn't, like, opening a book and sitting down in a lounge chair with a coffee and a pipe.

I must have been there about 15 minutes, and then the douchebag behind the counter says to me, "Okay, you've just about hit your browsing limit." I was too timid back then to say what I would if it happened today. Sorry to take time away from your daily newspaper reading so you can watch me to make sure I'm not stealing anything, dickwad.

I meekly paid for the five or so comics I'd picked out and left. That was 15 years ago and I never went back. Other experiences at small mom and pop stores haven't been as overtly negative, but I strain to think of any that have otherwise distinguished themselves. For fuck's sake, I just want to go in, look around as long as I want in air conditioning, maybe pee, and then pay with a credit card. You're never going to compete with Wal-Mart's economies of scale selling Charmin toilet paper, so stop complaining and start selling something Wal-Mart doesn't carry.

Or get friendlier.