5. The Hardass - Amazingly, despite being in damn near last place, this guy refuses all trade offers, hanging onto his tenth round pick like he was a life preserver in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle. YOU ARE IN LAST PLACE, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE? This is sort of like the Detroit Lions punting on 4th and short. Or 4th and long, for that matter.
4. The Sum-is-Greater-Than-its-Parts Guy - This is the guy who offers you everyone on his bench for your best player. Sure, if you add up all the guys they might hit 50 homers, but that's a lot less impressive when it requires nine roster spots to achieve.
3. The Quitter - This is the guy who got to the section of Bushido in his East Asian History textbook and scratched his head in utter confusion. Calculates his chances of winning the league and once they fall below a certain threshold, that's all folks. He might as well have joined the witness protection program.
2. The Taciturn - After painstakingly crafting a trade proposal which benefits you and is not insulting to your trade partner, you send it off and then check your e-mail every five minutes in the hope that he has responded positively to your offer. Minutes turn to days. You fret--perhaps the offer was too insulting? Days turn to weeks. Perhaps he's just thinking it over? At one month, it's official--nobody's at the helm.
1. The Sheep - Does not possess a single independent bone in his body. Fifteen minutes after player X is written up in a fantasy strategy column, this guy is flying off the waiver wire. Drafts all the published "sleepers" in the second through seventh rounds, thereby defeating the very purpose and definition of a sleeper.
2 comments:
which one am i? eh?
You are the "Never Has An Off-Year" guy. Even I have the courtesy to finish in nearly last place every other year, but you never throw that bone to us. Every year I'm looking up at you for half the season. Super-annoying!
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