Thursday, April 02, 2009

Phrases Which Irk Me

Yes, it's no secret that certain phrases just grind my gears. The two offenders I heard today:

- "No offense, but...": Ironically, the way a smug asshole informs you that he's about to offend you is that he prefaces it with the claim that he means no offense. With that said, I have NEVER heard anyone say "no offense" before a statement and actually mean it.

- "I got pregnant": I know that this is the way you express the thought, so whatever. But "got" is just so passive. How did the statement become so passive? It sounds like the woman was sitting at home doing crossword puzzles after her evening prayers and then suddenly a holy gob of semen materialized in her unsuspecting uterus. Instead of "I got pregnant" it would be much more accurate to say, "I opened my legs and let a guy blow his load inside me and one of his little swimmers slipped past my goalie and now I'm throwing up in the morning."

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