Wednesday, April 29, 2009

So Sick of Stupidity

Listen, I'm not Stephen Hawking or anything, and I'll even admit that until about last week, I thought America was named after Amerigo Vespucci (it was probably named after Richard Amerik. I never really questioned why it wasn't called "Vespuccia," as custom would dictate.) I've met many people who are far more brilliant than I, people who are inventing wonderful things and making vital discoveries while I bitch on the Internet. Though I *did* invent Cheesy Bread, but that was in like 3rd grade. What can I say? I peaked early.

But with that said, I've just about had it with dumb people. It's okay to have a different opinion than me, but, you know...have a good reason. Please. I just read a post from a guy who claims that since there are only 25 confirmed cases of swine flu, but 400 people are struck by lightning every year, then you must have a better chance of getting struck by lightning! Oh God. I hope swine flu comes around to my nose and takes me away from these idiots.

Can you imagine what the world would be like without dumb people?

- Spam would not exist because nobody would be stupid enough to send his or her credit card number to someone who types like PleeZE YOURE WOMAN with supppperzize PENIS ci@lis

- No more e-mail forwards about how plastic bottles give you cancer or IF YOU DON'T EMAIL THIS TO TEN PEOPLE IN THE NEXT TEN MINUTES YOU'LL HAVE BAD LUCK FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE BUT AT LEAST PEOPLE WON'T KNOW HOW YOU LACK A SINGLE INDEPENDENT THOUGHT IN THAT TINY BRAIN OF YOURS.

- I'd never have to drive behind someone texting ever again.

- I'd never have to wait beind someone who repeatedly sticks their farecard backwards into the turnstile and wonders why it's not working EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE A FUCKING PICTURE OF THE CARD SLIDING INTO THE SLOT RIGHT IN FRONT OF IT.

- We could finally make progress as a species by throwing out our illogical, baseless arguments. Emotion and bias will always be a part of us, but knowing when it's not appropriate to rely on and acknowledging that fact moves us closer to true harmony and further away from the logical equivalent of putting our hands over our ears and screaming like petulant children.

SWINE FLU, TAKE ME HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!

4 comments:

dg said...

I know that you've met people more brilliant than you (since I vividly recall the first time you and I met), but don't sell yourself short!

Oh, and just because one sends text messages while one drives does not mean that one is an idiot. Maybe one is particularly skilled at same, and can do so without affecting traffic conditions. Ever think of that?!

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

Indeed, perhaps some people are capable of texting without affecting traffic conditions. But that person is undeniably utilizing attentional resources, which obviously introduces greater risk. The precise amount of risk may vary from person to person, but unless the text message is exceptionally urgent, I think it's a grave miscalculation of risk and benefit.

Additionally, the research is pretty unequivocal. Very few people, if anyone, can drive unimpaired while texting. But amazingly, even people who have been at fault in multiple accidents still believe themselves to be capable of safely doing both. That, to me, is moronic, at best.

Unknown said...

Previous comment was mine too, BTW. I just made a typo...I'm not the Gestapo or anything.

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