The MRI Arthrogram Experience

Whew...it's finally over. The whole thing took about two hours, though it certainly felt a lot longer. It wasn't excruciating, but I can't say it was a pleasant experience.

The arthrogram is definitely the worst part. It's two injections (at least two, I couldn't bear to look), one for the local anesthetic, and then the second one that's plunged into the middle of the shoulder joint to inject the contrast dye. There may have been a third one to inject another anesthetic, but like I said, I wasn't looking. All this time, there's a realtime x-ray fluoroscope about two inches from your face set up to help guide the needle, and you can feel the cells in your brain happily flipping their genetic switches from "normal" to "cancerous." Anyway, the initial shot is a typical local skin shot (though rather deep), and the second shot into the joint is thus pretty tolerable until it pierces the capsule surrounding the joint, and then you feel a twinge of moderately bad pain. Only momentary though, so it's doable.

Then you lock all your stuff up (they actually let me keep my pants and shoes on) and wait for a LONG time. Someone comes by and asks you the same questions you've been asked about 30 times before, like when is your birthdate and which arm are they examining (not that I'm complaining, mind you), and then you wait a long time again. One thing people should know...if you need something, be proactive and ASK. I assumed that at some point someone would say, "Before you're locked into this tiny plastic tube for half an hour, would you like to use the bathroom?" But nobody did. Everything's very disjointed because you get ferried around like car parts on an assembly line and a different team does every step.

When I finally got into the MRI room, they strapped me down and the technician stuck some foam earplugs in my ears. I was disappointed, because the receptionist on the phone had assured me that I could get those special headphones that piped music into my brain. But at that point, I wasn't going to argue because there was no way in hell I was going to get a shot into the center of my fucking shoulder again. No way. They didn't slide my entire body into the tube, only the top half or so, so it wasn't too claustrophobia-inducing. I did worry that I'd have an itch or that I'd need to pee (or worse). Actually, I did have some itches. But fortunately, the machine is so damn loud that your brain is completely occupied with keeping your eardrums from exploding. The pain from the plastic pressing against your elbow or that tiny itch in your neck is nothing compared to the earsplitting clanks right next to your head. You kind of get used to them though. I fell asleep momentarily and probably screwed the whole exam up when my good arm slipped off my stomach.

Well, that was about it. My shoulder is throbbing with pain now, but it's not supposed to last that long. We'll see. My followup appointment is Thursday, and I hope to God it's something catastrophic. I'm going to be so fucking pissed if I went through all this only to have the doctor insist that it doesn't look like anything's wrong.

MRI Tomorrow

I've got my shoulder MRI scheduled for tomorrow, and considering the paucity of information available on the Internet (Will an injection straight into my joint hurt like a bitch or not?) I will write up the full experience for the benefit of future Googlers.

Stoked for Windows 7

It's in my hand! Actually, at this point Vista is not that bad anymore, all things considered. But there are two things I'm really looking forward to:

1. Finally taking the plunge into complete 64-bit;
2. New wallpapers.

You can do a full clean install on a blank hard drive with just the upgrade media, as with Vista. Paul Thurrott's excellent SuperSite outlines the procedure here:

http://www.winsupersite.com/win7/clean_install_upgrade_media.asp

I have Vista and can do an in-place upgrade over it, but I prefer to blow out all the cobwebs. I do forget to back up something every time, though. Last time it was my bookmarks and savegames. What will it be this time?

Time to Fire Congress and Replace Them With Zappos

I don't buy a lot of shoes, and I've certainly never bought them online prior to a few days ago. It just never seemed worth the potential hassle of having to return a pair that didn't look like you'd expect or didn't fit well. One aspect of my job that I enjoy is reading about how other businesses run and market their products, and Zappos flew onto my radar about a year or so ago. If you remember, at the time they offered free overnight shipping on every order (which has since ended, though a lot of orders go out overnight anyway) and offered new employee trainees a flat $2,000 to quit after a week of training.

Well I finally broke down and ordered a couple pairs of shoes from Zappos, and the speed with which they process and ship orders is phenomenal. I ordered at 10 p.m. on Monday and it arrived the next day! I'm not entirely sure at this point how that was even possible. I think you pay a little bit of a premium buying from Zappos, but I have to say, it's money well spent. I really can't imagine shopping online for shoes anywhere else. The last time I ordered anything from Gap they didn't even bother to send me an order confirmation for a day.

The point is, Zappos should be running our country. It would be nice to be pleasantly surprised with the speed of progress...for once.

Why I Chose the Nook Over the Kindle

Well, Barnes & Noble took the wraps off their new e-reader today, and boy did they hit it out of the park, at least on paper. I had been wavering between the Kindle and the Sony Reader, and I grudgingly chose the Kindle, despite its lack of native PDF support (despite its lack of ANY support outside essentially MOBI), non-expandable memory, and nonreplaceable battery. And as we all know, I HATE nonreplaceable batteries. But, on the other hand, the book selection was better and there was wireless access and thus, Wikipedia to keep me entertained. But it was so close of a decision that almost any extra feature could have tilted the balance either way. I wonder if Amazon realizes that just by allowing 6-inch Kindles to read PDF, they could really have blown the competition away. I've been experimenting with converting my PDFs into a file format that the Kindle can read, and they look AWFUL. When people were saying that PDFs suffered a little bit in the conversion, I assumed it would be fairly minor things, like wonky formatting here and there. Nuh uh. It's downright piss-poor in every way, especially if there are any images. Also, I believe that native PDF support lets you borrow ebooks for free from the library via Adobe Digital Editions, which was one of the big draws of the Sony reader.

Anyway, as I've said previously, I was awaiting today's announcement with bated breath, even as my Kindle is en route. As soon as the specs first came out, (inadvertently, thanks to an overeager web guy/gal), they did not disappoint (although I have to admit, the name was a bit of a letdown):

- Native PDF support
- Expandable memory
- Replaceable battery
- 3G cellular access AND WiFi
- eBook lending

Out came the credit card, and I've got it on preorder. The Kindle is due to arrive tomorrow, but I'm sending it back. I couldn't care less about the color touchscreen, but they hit most everything else I've been looking for. I will miss wireless Wikipedia, but I'm confident that on the Android platform, someone will figure something out. Maybe even the name will grow on me. I do remember thinking that "Wii" was the dumbest name ever when I first heard it. Wait...I still think it's the dumbest name ever.

So maybe it won't grow on me. Just be prepared for the inevitable onslaught of "she showed me her nook" and "her nook is stuffed with goodies" jokes.

Running Up The Score

After New England's 59-0 blowout of the Titans today (I guess technically yesterday), I'm sure that pundits and fans will be buzzing with self-righteous anger about class and sportsmanship. In the interest of disclosure, just a few years ago I would have been spearheading the outrage myself, but to be honest, I don't care anymore.

That is not to say, of course, that I oppose sportsmanship or class. I absolutely agree that at lower levels of competition, a dominant team should take its foot off the pedal. It's classless to embarrass a poorly performing team because a lot of those kids don't get to choose where they play. DeMatha will always kick the crap out of most public schools, but that's not the kids' fault.

But in the NFL, you mostly get to choose where you play, and you're compensated handsomely whether you win or lose or lose by 59. And frankly, the talent level among NFL teams is pretty close, all things considered. Should you stop scoring because you might make Vince Young feel bad about himself? Who cares? Tennessee handed him $26 million of guaranteed money, life's not that bad. You deserve to be embarrassed once in a while.

And let's not forget the legendary 1993 playoff game between the Bills and the Oilers, in which the Oilers led 35-3 in the 3rd quarter, only to lose in overtime.

With all that said, boy were the Titans awful. They completed as many passes to the Patriots (2) as they did to their own players, whose 2 receptions went for a total of -7 yards. Nate Washington came into the game with 172 season receiving yards and left it with 150 season receiving yards. Clearly, this game was punishment from the football gods for punting on 4th and 3 from their own 40 with like 7 minutes left in the 4th quarter trailing the Colts 31-9. Are you even trying to win?

I think Bill Belichick is a douchebag, but you've got to admire the man's balls. Going for it on 4th down on his own...24, was it? He coaches football like I play video Madden.

Consumer Reports: Canker Sore Review Edition

For as long as I can remember, I've been plagued--PLAGUED--with horrible canker sores. Anytime I bite or cut the inside of my lip, no matter how small it is initially, it develops into a 3/4 cm crater almost without fail. When I was younger there wasn't a lot you could do about it aside from some applying some dishearteningly impermanent topical medication. Thankfully, it seems that lately, the market for canker sore products has exploded, and there are some surprisingly effective remedies available. Naturally, over the course of my life, out of sheer desperation I have bought and tried every single one of them. But which one is the best?

Canker Cover (***) - This is just one example of a pretty extensive line of similar products--they're basically discs (like very thin aspirin tablets) that stick to the sore. They do stick VERY well; in fact, once it's on, you can't get it off. And it lasts a pretty long time, provided you don't pick at it. But on the other hand, the disc is HUGE. You're not going to get away with this around the front of your mouth if you need to talk to someone else in the course of your day. And it just feels disgusting in your mouth, sort of like really soft wax, and I'm afraid about eating with it on. It's inelegant, but it eliminates the pain, so if you're just going to sit on the couch all day, it's not so bad.


Colgate Orabase Soothe-N-Seal (**) - Open up the box and it's basically a vial of superglue and a few Q-Tips. You squeeze the superglue onto the tip and dab it onto the sore. It does seal quickly, but it hurts like a bitch, is stiff when it dries, and doesn't last quite as long as the company claims. It's definitely the worst choice for very large sores; the Q-Tip they give you has such a small tip, and if you have to reapply it several times to cover the entire sore, the whole thing just doesn't seem to stay together that well. I disliked this one so much I never even finished the package.

Zilactin-B (****) - Now we're talking! You squeeze the brown liquid onto the sore, and after 30 seconds of the worst blinding pain of your life, the medication takes over and numbs the sore pretty well. Lasts long too--but it tastes and smells awful and is conspicuously brown. One time it rubbed off and stuck on my teeth. Not graceful. But it works great.

Canker-X (****) - Unlike the Zilactin, this one tastes good, is clear, and doesn't hurt as much, but doesn't last near as long. I prefer this one to the Zilactin, but only when I know I'll have a chance to reapply it soon.

I AM ALREADY "AWARE" OF BREAST CANCER. You can stop now.

If any cancer needs an "awareness" campaign, it's skin cancer. Not only are skin cancer rates shooting through the roof, women have been so brainwashed about the desirability of tan skin that some of them will utter such apparently moronic things as "I'd rather get skin cancer than be pale." Skin cancer can be deadly. Would any woman say she'd rather get breast cancer than be pale? Then which cancer should we be raising awareness for? Melanoma is the second most common cancer in women aged 20-29, and the kicker is, it's largely preventable. You'd have to think an awareness campaign could really make a difference. But for some reason, activist women have latched onto breasts as their raison d'etre, which seems misguided in light of the concrete good that could be achieved in skin cancer prevention.

And the most ironic twist for the breast cancer "awareness" movement? One of the Susan G. Komen corporate sponsors is Wyeth, the pharmaceutical company, which markets products which actually CAUSE breast cancer (though they state that the partnership is technically "Wyeth-Chapstick Brand Lip Moisturizer).

The Morons at Barnes & Noble

This holiday season, it's all about the eBook readers, which are expected to be among the season's hottest items, even among soldiers. I know a lot of people I've talked to collectively shrug--after all, for $300 you could buy a Netbook and read books on that. But I'd bet that people who feel that way have never seen the eReaders in action. Personally, reading off of backlit screens gives me wicked eyestrain, so slogging through 300 pages off a computer screen or my iPod really isn't an appealing proposition for me. The eReaders, though, have to be seen to be believed. They are eerily paperlike. I first handled a reader at the Sony store, and when I saw the screen I assumed it was one of those pre-printed overlays that they put on dummy display models. I was stunned when I accidentally pressed a button and the screen refreshed and displayed the next page. Color me impressed. I decided that I'd get one when the prices went down and the DRM hissyfit that accompanies every new technology was resolved.

Well, that was a year ago, and we haven't made much progress on either front. Meanwhile, I'm itching to jump into the fray. I spend a lot of time on the train, giving me ample time to read material, but I hate having to lug around books. Plus, it usually takes two hands to turn pages, and anyone who's been on the Metro at 8:30 in the morning knows that that is just not possible sometimes. But I've wasted enough brain cells on my commute. I'm getting one this Christmas!

Problem is, they all stink in one way or another. Sony readers (Sony, of all companies) are better at reading different non-DRM formats, including library loans, but the DRM-strapped Kindle has a wider selection in its bookstore, along with wireless access and Wikipedia. The Wikipedia thing is a big deal for me. I've always like reading encyclopedias.

So needless to say, I've been waiting breathlessly for Barnes & Noble's new reader, which is expected to launch October 20. The problem is, they've released no details on it whatsoever. It's only ten days away, guys! What are you trying to protect? Anyway, Amazon is shipping its new Kindle International Oct. 19, and I assume it'll sell out pretty quickly, especially considering the newfound global demand, so you have to make a decision pretty quickly if you don't want to be waiting until February. Plus, if I have to undergo shoulder surgery, it would be nice to have one of these for afterwards--I'm not even sure I'll be able to play video games. The horror!

I reluctantly opted to pre-order the Kindle International, but I would have waited for B&N's reader if they had just released some confirmed specs and compatible formats on it. I can't be the only one who feels the same way, which is why I am so befuddled about the constant "no comment" from B&N reps. Again, 10 days before the NYT expects it to be released. This is why you're trading at 20 bucks a share, guys, because you're so fucking shortsighted.

EDIT: Evidently my standardized reading comprehension scores in high school were a fluke, because the announcement is to be on Oct. 20 and sales were expected to begin in November. I don't know how the NYT got the headline "Barnes & Noble E-Reader Could Come Oct. 20..." from that, but my mistake.

NFL RedZone - Phenomenal.

This past weekend, NFL RedZone was having a free preview, so I took the opportunity to watch the channel. And man, it is AWESOME. Not only do they switch to teams that are in the red zone, but they'll switch off of even them in between plays to cut to a team that's actually snapping the ball. There are always so many commercial breaks in a single game broadcast that I'm always having to get up and do something else, but this is the first time I sat down for the 1:00 games and didn't get up until they were all over (except halftime, of course). Football without the boring parts, I approve.

I also have to say, Joe Flacco looks incredibly good. I like to see CAA alumni succeeding in the NFL, even modestly, but every time I see him play, I'm legitimately impressed by the guy. Don't look now, but the Ravens are 3rd in the NFL in total yards per game, at 413.5 (the Saints and Colts are both averaging 414.2). The Ravens putting up offense on par with the Saints? Say it ain't so! Times really are a-changin. Speaking of the Saints and the CAA, Darren Sharper already has 5 interceptions this season, has already returned two of them for TDs, and is already only 83 yards away from breaking the single season interception yardage record! Egads. And he has scored 9 more touchdowns in his career than the first quarterback picked in the draft the year Sharper was drafted. Can anyone guess the QB without cheating?