The MRI Arthrogram Experience

Whew...it's finally over. The whole thing took about two hours, though it certainly felt a lot longer. It wasn't excruciating, but I can't say it was a pleasant experience.

The arthrogram is definitely the worst part. It's two injections (at least two, I couldn't bear to look), one for the local anesthetic, and then the second one that's plunged into the middle of the shoulder joint to inject the contrast dye. There may have been a third one to inject another anesthetic, but like I said, I wasn't looking. All this time, there's a realtime x-ray fluoroscope about two inches from your face set up to help guide the needle, and you can feel the cells in your brain happily flipping their genetic switches from "normal" to "cancerous." Anyway, the initial shot is a typical local skin shot (though rather deep), and the second shot into the joint is thus pretty tolerable until it pierces the capsule surrounding the joint, and then you feel a twinge of moderately bad pain. Only momentary though, so it's doable.

Then you lock all your stuff up (they actually let me keep my pants and shoes on) and wait for a LONG time. Someone comes by and asks you the same questions you've been asked about 30 times before, like when is your birthdate and which arm are they examining (not that I'm complaining, mind you), and then you wait a long time again. One thing people should know...if you need something, be proactive and ASK. I assumed that at some point someone would say, "Before you're locked into this tiny plastic tube for half an hour, would you like to use the bathroom?" But nobody did. Everything's very disjointed because you get ferried around like car parts on an assembly line and a different team does every step.

When I finally got into the MRI room, they strapped me down and the technician stuck some foam earplugs in my ears. I was disappointed, because the receptionist on the phone had assured me that I could get those special headphones that piped music into my brain. But at that point, I wasn't going to argue because there was no way in hell I was going to get a shot into the center of my fucking shoulder again. No way. They didn't slide my entire body into the tube, only the top half or so, so it wasn't too claustrophobia-inducing. I did worry that I'd have an itch or that I'd need to pee (or worse). Actually, I did have some itches. But fortunately, the machine is so damn loud that your brain is completely occupied with keeping your eardrums from exploding. The pain from the plastic pressing against your elbow or that tiny itch in your neck is nothing compared to the earsplitting clanks right next to your head. You kind of get used to them though. I fell asleep momentarily and probably screwed the whole exam up when my good arm slipped off my stomach.

Well, that was about it. My shoulder is throbbing with pain now, but it's not supposed to last that long. We'll see. My followup appointment is Thursday, and I hope to God it's something catastrophic. I'm going to be so fucking pissed if I went through all this only to have the doctor insist that it doesn't look like anything's wrong.