As many of you know, Scooter has wiped out my entire Christmas bonus, Neo-Geo fund, and this year's tax refund (before I've even gotten it). Current running total: $1594.14.
A lot of you may ask, "Eugene, isn't that a bit much to spend on a chinchilla?" The answer is yes, yes it is.
Now sometimes in life, people stumble upon magic combinations. Peanut butter and jelly. Salt and pepper. Joe Montana and Jerry Rice. Well, I stumbled upon another magic combination today: talking to the vet office + drinking. I've done just about everything one can do while drinking except for that, and I was in just the right state of mind to come up with the greatest moneymaking scheme on the entire planet. Ready?
All you have to do is open a veterinary office, take pets in from suckers like me who pay exorbitant amounts for ridiculous pets like rodents, charge $1000 and...replace them with animals that look exactly like the pets you took in. You might pay like $80 for a new chinchilla, which equals $920 of pure profit. Honestly, they all look alike; Scooter's brother looked almost exactly like him (he was a little darker, but they had to be side-by-side to notice). I'd like to think I could tell if I was getting a different animal, and ideally, I could, because I've taught Scooter how to do a couple of tricks, but honestly, I would just assume he was too stressed out, or he'd just forgotten. Next step: watch the money roll in!
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